Tiny Human Aquisition: Achieved

Monday, July 14, 2008

Hello everyone!

Finally, after 9 months and three days of waiting, the planet earth welcomed Quinn Bernard Morrow to itself. As I mentioned before, the c-section was planned for 7:30am on Wednesday, but (as is the case with most "plans") it didn't quite happen that way. I went into active labor at 1am Wednesday morning and Davey and I had to rush to the hospital in the middle of the night. Apparently he just couldn't wait even a few hours longer to make his entrance, and was born at 4:34am. This, of course, changed his astrology entirely but I'll go into that another day. Right now I just want to try and describe the adventure of his birth, although there's so much to tell I'm not sure I can say it all in one post.

Contractions BLOW. I know that's sort of one of those things that everybody "knows," but I really didn't know exactly how bad it was until it happened to me. I also understand now why no one could tell me what they feel like- there's no way to really describe it. It's somewhere between the worst menstrual cramps you can possibly imagine and your body trying to turn itself inside out. In other words- contractions BLOW.

When we first got to the hospital they tried with all their might to slow my contractions down until my scheduled c-section time. First they made me drink 8 big cups of cranberry juice, I guess because hydration slows contractions? Maybe in a normal person, but apparently all that moisture just sped mine up. So they moved me upstairs to a labor room, hooked me up to some IV's and gave me two Ambien, thinking it could slow my contractions down AND help me sleep. But the baby had made up his mind, and no amount of drugs were going to slow his roll. A half hour or so after they gave me the pills, they checked my cervix and rushed me to surgery to do the c-section early. By then, of course, I was so loopy on the Ambien that I'd mostly left the planet. While I was floating somewhere out around Neptune, the doctors gave Davey some scrubs to wear and an anesthesiologist gave me spinal anesthesia.

Me (in mask), Davey (in scrubs), Quinn (breathing oxygen for the first time)

Here's what I remember about the actual c-section: a really cool surgical lamp over my head that looked like a spaceship that I couldn't stop staring at- Davey holding my hand- hearing Quinn cry for the first time and then seeing his little face all miserable and covered in goop when someone held him over the tent around my belly for me. That's literally it- I never felt a thing. I was really paranoid that I would be able to feel the pressure and KNOW they were cutting into my body but I didn't feel anything, thankfully. After that they closed me up and wheeled me into a recovery room, and then I didn't see Quinn again until way, way later.



Why, you ask? Tremors. David, hottie and love of my life that he is, suffers from genetic tremors that his father, sister, and grandfather all also have. Their hands all shake, barely enough to notice. It looks as though Quinn's inherited the trait, but since none of the doctors knew they assumed he must have some sort of serious medical problem. That assumption would continue to haunt us for the next four days that I was in the hospital recovering, as well meaning but totally annoying nurses kept doing test after test after test after test on him trying to find what was "wrong."

I'm not going to lie. I wasn't very nice to aforementioned nurses. I was snarky, sarcastic and outright petulant because they kept TAKING HIM AWAY FROM ME. Eventually, they found that he was slightly jaundiced and put him in a baby incubator, under some ultraviolet lights, and I literally had a breakdown in the hospital. I almost made a hospital volunteer cry, even (sorry, hospital volunteer). Even with all the free room service (with so many veg options!!) and Law & Order SVU I could possibly consume at my fingertips, nothing comforted me when I couldn't be with him. It was excruciating not being able to see him or know what was going on. I waddled down the hallway to the nurses station more than once to demand answers and explainations. Apparently I am an even bigger and scarier Momma Lion than I ever suspected.

The hospital stay was, as you can imagine, good and bad. I needed the recovery time, but there was a huge part of me that just wanted to be at home with David and Quinn the entire time. David stayed with me in the hospital every night and there was a constant current of visitors in and out. For a few of those days I only got to see the baby when they'd bring him in to breastfeed, and needless to say I got over any lingering modesty I may have once had about whipping my boob out in front of anyone pretty quickly. I cherished those times so much that I was totally unwilling to postpone them because of guests. I also had a totally creepy hospital bed that adjusted itself to the position my body was in, and sounded like it was breathing all the time. I say creepy now but I really miss it. Or, really, my achy back misses it. A lot.



I'm not sure exactly how to describe what it feels like to be a mother. I've been thinking about how to do that for a while, and I still haven't come up with the right words. Except maybe to say that I had no idea the capacity for love that really existed inside of me until now, as corny as that sounds. I've honestly never loved anyone or anything in this world as much as I love this little baby. It terrifying and exhilarating loving something so much, especially something as helpless and needy as a newborn baby. As awkward as we were afraid we'd be, I think Davey and I are taking to parenthood pretty well. The baby seems to like us, at least. And that's a good start.



Quinn has been home for three days now, and has experienced a lot of firsts. He had his first at-home bath this morning, and had his first doctor's appointment. My mother comes over almost every day and reads to him, and we're already planning all the different museums, aquariums and other fun places we want to take him. David plays his guitar and sings for him, which the baby seems to completely adore. He sleeps in a little bassinet next to our bed so that when he's hungry at night I can easily pull him into bed with me and feed him in the dark. I'm so in love.