What's Up In My Atmosphere

Monday, June 30, 2008

Last week my OBGYN recommended that I stay off my feet fearing I may have developed toxemia, a recommendation I decided not to take seriously. I come from a long line (Hi Mom! I know you read this!) of folks distrustful of doctors and medicine in general. So I decided it would be fine to waddle out into the oppressive heat and walk all around with David buying cat food and an answering machine and all this other stuff. Needless to say, it was a pretty big mistake. My feet and my hands swelled up all gigantic and balloonishly and I almost passed out in public, something I try to avoid whenever possible. So I'm essentially an indoor kid now. The baby, now officially Quinn Bernard Morrow, could come any day now (but I hope he waits for the new moon, at least). I'm in my 40th week and honestly can't wait for my body to go back to being MINE. Pregnancy and I clearly do NOT get along, at least not biologically.

David and I have started buying bruised fruit for me to bake with, which I love. I made a giant loaf of yummy blueberry banana bread this morning, and I also have mangos (!!) and strawberries to work with later as well. I *think* I'm going to try making a bunch of mango cobbler soon, provided I don't go into labor first.

Does anyone have any excellent cookbook recommendations? Baking AND cooking, except that the cooking should be vegetarian/vegan in nature. I've been particularly interested in interesting veggie crockpot recipes. I've been scourging etsy.com for cooking zines and the like, thinking I might start a little cooking library to go beneath my poetry one. Who knew, right?

Short Stops

Things I've started to write about lately but haven't finished:

1.) A discussion of my top 5 favorite covers, which basically turned into a discussion about all the reasons I love CocoRosie's cover of Kevin Lyttle's "Turn Me On."

2.) A Last.fm survey all about my top 50 most listened to artists, with questions of the "what was the first song you heard by..." "how did you discover..." and "what is your favorite song by.." variety.

3.) A return the covers entry, talking about sacred artists no one should ever cover, Cyndi Lauper & working class girls in the 80s, and The Acorn's cover of "Good Enough."

4.) Reasons I wish Michelle Obama would run for president.

5.) An entry about big transits and retrograde periods we're entering into astrologically, and how they may affect everyone.

So see, it's not like I've forgotten you guys or am short on ideas- I just seem to have an incredibly low tolerance for "hearing" myself talk and always stop before I finish.

What sort of things do you guys want to read about here, anyway? Anything in particular? I've got a lot of time on my hands, being all pregnant and immobile and whatnot.

I, uh

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Okay, seriously?

There are so, so many things to be annoyed with here that I couldn't possibly write them all in one swoop. Do you notice how the lyrics constantly confirm her straightness, over and over? It's important to be clear about that, just in case a woman actually being attracted to another might threaten collective dudehood or make *any* dicks *anywhere* soft in *any* way. God forbid. Thanks for being a relentless advocate for bro dudes and their erections everywhere, Katy Perry (and the two men who helped you write your masterpiece)! What would boners do without you?

Oh, and ps: Being anything other than heterosexual is not what "good girls do," in case you forgot.

Ugh.

Who said Chicopee was a wasteland?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

A dude from my hometown is the rock, paper scissors champion of the United States.

"A Chicopee man rocked the competition over the weekend in Las Vegas, beating more than 300 of the nation's finest "Rock Paper Scissors" players to earn a $50,000 first prize.

Sean Sears, 23, of Leo Drive threw a winning rock to conquer his opponent's scissors to win the 2008 Bud Light/USA Rock Paper Scissors League Championship.

"We were absolutely amazed he won. It was on a whim he did this," said his mother, Catherine A. Sears.

Sean, a graduate of Chicopee Comprehensive High School and Worcester Polytechnic Institute, was en route to Chicopee from Las Vegas tonight and could not be reached."
- from masslive.com

.... Clearly there is hope for all of us.

Sweet Corn Cupcakes w/ Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

Monday, June 23, 2008

For today's adventure in baking, I chose the Sweet Corn & Maple Cupcakes. I skipped any and all references to bacon.

I chose this recipe as my first adventure for two reasons:

1.) We had ONE small ear of corn left in the fridge. It definitely wasn't big enough to make any sort of dinner for the two of us, but we left it hanging in food limbo because we didn't want to waste it.

2.) David is a big fan of bartering; in the spring he did some computer work for a family of farmers & maple syrup producers (love living in Western Massachusetts!) and they gave him a GIANT jug of 100% natural maple syrup as payment. We've been trying to use it as often as possible, but neither of us is big on "heavy" breakfasts with pancakes or waffles, you know? (Cake for breakfast?)

Ingreeds, in general.

I deviated from the recipe a little, mostly for the sake of convenience. Sugar is listed twice in the recipe, once for 3/4 of a cup and then again towards the end for another 1/4 of a cup (??). I cut out that last 1/4, and when I tasted the batter it was DEFINITELY sweet enough without it. Holy cow, trust me.

Also, there was less than a cup of corn after I got done shaving the ear that we had- it was more like half a cup. Other than that, though, I stuck to the recipe's guns. Well. Sort of.

Now look, I like to bake, alright? But no one ever said I was this expert who knew all the tricks. I get that you mix the dry and wet ingredients separately and I get that you pour the wet in to the dry SLOWLY while mixing the two together. That's basically the extent of my "technique." Accordingly, I had a few fumbles with this recipe, all having to do with the egg yolks and the egg whites.

Eggs creep me out, I'm going to be honest. I wanted the "egg" portion of this recipe to be as quick and painless as possible and didn't even read that part of the recipe very closely. I saw that it called for 4 egg yolks and 5 egg whites, and that was enough for me. Apparently I was supposed to separate all whites from all yolks, and then "whip" the egg whites on their own before adding them to the batter. What I actually did, though, was dump them all in at once and not whip shit.


Me, not whipping shit.

Adding the corn felt *wrong* somehow, which was awesome. I have to admit I was a little skeptical of how the corn would adapt to everything else (namely all the sugar and cream cheese), but went forth faithfully and with trust. Once it was all mixed, I used a soup ladle to get it from the bowl into the baking cups. It just seemed more logical to me somehow, since I was spooning out all this corn and stuff. Wooden spoons be damned, I am not ashamed.


Ladle, ladle, ladle

After I stuck the cupcake pan in the oven, I did the dishes and started on the frosting. Oh, the frosting.

Yes, it's delicious, but dudes- frosting is GROSS. I don't think I've ever made frosting from scratch before (just canned, or the "add water only" kind) and I honestly had no idea that frosting is essentially just butter and sugar. Lots and lots and LOTS of butter and sugar. Nevermind that I picked the recipe with the CREAM CHEESE frosting, right? I swear every step of the way I felt like I was sinning- hands down, good old fashioned, raised catholic SINNING. Just when I thought I might lose my mind entirely, the timer went off letting me know the cupcakes were done.


My surprisingly well adjusted domes

I'm really disappointed that technology has not yet been invented which would have allowed me to share the AMAZING SMELL of these cupcakes coming out of the oven with you all. Considering I only used half a cup of corn instead of a whole one, I was surprised at how distinct the corn smell was. And it smelled GOOD, holy-cow-good. It was exactly what I needed after the shell shock of the frosting.

After cooling and whatnot, I frosted them and tried one. !!!!! Success! Success! Sweet, sweet success. As you can imagine they're a little on the heavy side with the frosting and all, but they're delicious and I can't wait to share them! Anyone wanna come over and have one?



Click for full-sized goodness!

Food!

My First Trimester

Since I've been pregnant, David and I have amassed a whole new appreciation for eating. During my first trimester, I was so sick all the time that I couldn't keep anything down but lukewarm water (not cold, or I'd throw it up), saltines and Lipton's noodle soup. During my second trimester, I was CONSTANTLY hungry. And it wasn't just "hunger"- it would feel like I was starving even though I obviously wasn't, and I'd get debilitating stomach pains and headaches if I didn't eat every 2 hours. Because of the sheer FREQUENCY of my needing to eat, we ate a lot of greasy, fast nonsense. It's only really been over the last two or so months that I've been able to eat like a "regular" human being, so we've been trying in that time to get ourselves back on track.


My Second Trimester

We know that very, VERY soon things are going to have to change. Not just for just the two of us, but as a "family unit" in general. (By the way; yes, equating everything in our lives to how it will affect a "family" has been challenging, if you were wondering.) I would ideally like to have the little boy see us eat lots of healthy, fresh food and let him witness us trying new recipes and new ingredients as often as possible. Growing up, my family ate pretty much nothing but ground beef, chicken, and cube steak. So when I decided I didn't LIKE meat, I was pretty much doomed. I very quickly became a "sides only" vegetarian, which I think happens a lot to young veg's. When my family had meat with a side, I'd have double to rice/noodles/pasta to "make up" for the lack of food on my plate. Eating fresh, varied foods is something I still struggle with, since I've always been really, really good at limiting myself. I want to get myself back into non-pregnancy shape in better ways then only eating Lean Cuisine frozen pizzas for three years, which I will totally do if I don't at least make an effort to attempt otherwise.

Speaking of which, I really, really want us all three of us to have a healthy relationship with food, especially since all of our genes have a predisposition for both extreme self-denial and relentless chubbiness. I was never as overweight as some of my relatives but I tortured myself with food in my adolescence. Not by starving myself outright or purging, but by putting myself on ill-advised "diets" that usually consisted of limiting the food I ate to only one item in the morning, afternoon, and at night. I once ate nothing but baby food for a month and a half, for example. I'm hoping that if we teach our son how to eat healthily right off the bat he won't struggle with the how-to's later on. Fingers crossed, anyway. But where do you even start, right?

Naturally, we were PUMPED when Davey discovered "Twenty for Twenty: Vegetarian Edition" on allrecipes.com- a list of twenty mostly fresh ingredients to stock up on in order to make twenty different healthy, vegetarian dinners? So far we've tried the Mediterranean Chickpea Salad, the Hot and Spicy Tofu and the Homemade Black Bean Veggie Burgers. WOW! They're all so delicious and don't leave us feeling heavy later on; I love, love it. It helps, of course, that David is an amazing cook. He does 98% of the cooking around here because he is just so, so much better at it than I am.


Homemade Black Bean Burgers <3

It's true, I can't actually COOK for the life of me, but! Amazingly, I seem to have a natural talent for baking. I used to get a secret kick out of bringing in home-made spice cakes and blueberry coffee cake made with hand picked blueberries to parties and pot lucks when I worked at Mass Mutual, because it was so contrary to my personality that I would bake, and everyone was always really surprised and impressed. Like a lot of things I used to enjoy, though, I put baking on the back burner a year or so ago when I scraped my entire foundation down the drain and started rebuilding it from the ground up. Getting pregnant slowed that process down even more, but now that I'm at the (very, very) tail end of it I'm starting to get back into baking.



My fire was re-lit the instant I laid eyes on the (no longer updated, sadly) Cupcake Bakeshop blog and egged on by my subsequent discovery of Cookie Madness; two websites all about unique baking. How absolutely amazing do lavender cream filled cupcakes with citrus cream cheese frosting sound!? I've decided it will be an awesome challenge to see how I can make these recipes a little healthier without compromising too much of the taste and I'm pumped to start experimenting. Wish me luck!

Just two weeks left...

Saturday, June 21, 2008

this is roughly where I'm at:

The Great Renovation: Nursery Finished!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The nursery has been finished for a few weeks, actually, but I wanted to wait until after my baby shower when it was full of things to show it in it's completion. Considering our incredibly limited budget, I'm pretty proud of how it came out. Thanks to my family and teamwork in general, we pulled off a dream nursery way, way beyond my expectations.

Overall; it's hard to get a picture of the entire room at once, but this is the general gist.


The baby's bookcase- he has two additional BOXES of books in the closet because he comes from a long, long line of enthusiastic bookworms who've all bought him book upon book. We're also classic children's book appreciators- note the Very Hungry Caterpillar book with stuffed caterpillar, the first of what will soon be an extensive Dr. Seuss collection, and the Madeline hand puppet.


Close-up of the mural my father painted, shooting off into unknown realms from Changing Table Rocket Base.

Now all we need is the final touch- an actual human baby! At my appointment today I was informed that I'm dilating at a healthy pace and, now that I'm 37 weeks along, could potentially and safely go in to labor at any time. It's really happening!! Can you even believe it?

Congratulations Phyllis & Del!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Phyllis Lyon, 83, and Del Martin, 87, will finally be legally married in San Francisco today after being together for over half a century.

"They write together and work together and have been in love for 51 years. And tonight, after the state Supreme Court decision kicks in at 5:00, they are going to be the first same-sex couple to get married in San Francisco, in what will be another historic moment in their lives together." -CANOW

How can anyone say that a love like this could possibly negate their own? Congratulations, Phyllis & Del!

I'd been working on a mix for a while that's sort of about maturing. Acknowledging that I was really going to be someone's mother was eye opening to me. I had a lot of demons I'd ignored facing for a long time, but knew I'd have to put them all behind me if I was ever going to be the sort of partner and mother I needed to be for my new family. This little mix is just a little peek into my journey.

http://caitmary.muxtape.com/

I hope you like it!

I will probably want to elaborate on this later...

Friday, June 13, 2008

... but I'm *really* digging The Pica Beats right now.

Dion McGregor

"Dion McGregor was the most prolific somniloquist in recorded history. A Somniloquist, or voluble dreamer, is a person that talks during their sleep. Through the 1950’s Dion McGregor’s roommate taped his surreal narrations and in 1964 an avant-garde record was released to minimal fanfare. Dion is incredibly unique due to the way in which he sleep-talks. Rather than mumbling random incoherent words like most sleep-talkers, Dion narrates his dreams eloquently at a conversational tone making them an incredible and surreal experience for the listener." - courtesy of Ink Mathematics

ps: "The Mustard Battle" is my favorite.

Lily Pond - Vicki Feaver

"Thinking of new ways to kill you
and bring you back from the dead,
I try drowning you in the lily pond -

holding your head down
until every bubble of breath
is squeezed from your lungs

and the flat leaves and spiky flowers
float over you like a wreath.
I sit on the stones until I'm numb,

until, among reflections of sky,
water-buttercups, spears of iris,
your face rises to the surface -

a face that was always puffy
and pale, so curiously unchanged.
A wind rocks the waxy flowers, curls

the edges of the leaves. Blue butterfles
appear and vanish like ghosts.
I part the mats of yellow weed

and drag you to the bank, covering
your green algae-stained corpse
with a white sheet. Then, I lift the edge

and climb in underneath -
thumping your chest,
breathing into your mouth."

@ poetryarchive.com
@ Wikipedia

Me & My Narrow Pelvic Arch

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I saw my doctor today and she gave me the low down. I was apparently mistaken all these years in thinking the problem had something to do with my cervix, because what's actually going to prevent me from having my baby naturally is my NARROW PELVIC ARCH.

Big babies and narrow pelvic arches apparently do not mix well. According to my doctor there is a slim chance that natural birth could be possible, but she's strongly advising me against trying. She says the risk is too great that complications during birth will cause brain damage, cerebral palsy, and shoulder dystocia. If the baby were smaller or comes early, she said, it would be less of a big deal. But he isn't, so it is. Pretty scary stuff.

My pelvis is shaped like this:

but the baby would prefer if it were shaped like this:




Just a few months ago, a woman with a narrow pelvic arch who's child suffered severe brain damage from an attempted natural birth won a 21 million dollar lawsuit against her doctors. What I'm wondering is, how come no one has ever been straight with me about this until now? Why has it always been this murky thing my gyno's have mentioned in passing?

I'm not sure why, but this is making me feel all sorts of funny things.

Baby Chatter

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

There's so much that needs to be done around the house, but it's seriously just WAY too hot for me to leave the (mildly) air conditioned living room for too long. The heat makes my PUPPP ridiculously excruciating! About a week ago my doctor prescribed me these prescription stregnth Benadryl-type pills to ward off some of the itch. They work really well, but now because of the heat I'm taking them as often as possible and they make me sleepy and woozy. As a result, I've been pretty checked out for a better part of the last four days. As an example, I JUST woke up from a "nap" 15 minutes ago (2:15) that I went in for at 10am. Rumor has it the heat is supposed to break a little tonight- fingers crossed.

I rarely just talk about what I've been up to here, mostly because there's got to be SOME sort of limit on how many times I write "the baby kicked/punched/attack me today, I made a new mix, growing up is strange," which is most certainly what I'd write every day if I let myself.

I went for my final ultrasound last week as I mentioned before, and it was enlightening. My mother came with me and soon became witness to the fact that this little boy is SO FAR from little. In addition to having long femur bones (no wonder he's been able to KICK my DIAPHRAGM), I found out that he's already 6 pounds, 10 ounces. To put things into perspective, I was only 7 pounds, 3 ounces when I was BORN, never mind still growing, with 4 weeks to go. The baby is supposed to gain a half a pound every week from now until birth, which means I'm easily looking at a 9 pound baby here. And for me, that most likely equals C-Section, something I really, really wanted to avoid.

Gyno's have been telling me varying folk tales about my small lady parts since I first started going to them, and depending on who was talking I heard everything from "no natural birth ever" to "natural birth to small babies only" to "natural birth as long as the baby is average sized." Big babies, though, have never, ever been on the menu for me. Just watching my body grow to the size it is should have been a big neon sign to me that this baby was so much bigger than average sized, but I've been really, really good at making excuses. I already had brought up the possibility with my OBGYN, and she told me to wait and see before I start worrying about surgery. Unfortunately it's looking pretty inevitable now, which is making me really anxious.

This weekend, Davey and I went to a BBQ at his Aunt's in Sturbridge. His sister Krishna and his brother's wife Melissa were there too, along with their kids. Talking to Melissa has been pretty eye opening for me, as far as babies go. They have a 2 year old daughter, Avery, who apparently was ALSO around 9 pounds at birth. I found out David was almost 9 pounds at birth, too. Apparently Morrow's just make big babies- lucky me! David apparently also has inherited most of the more dominant Morrow genes, since Avery looks a lot more like him than her own father.

See little Davey in the right hand corner? I rest my case.

All the worrying I was doing, though, was pretty much put to rest at the 3D Ultrasound. My mother, after seeing something about it on tv, paid for me to go and get a special, elective ultrasound that would allow us to see the baby pretty much exactly as he is (as opposed to a shadow, like in regular ultrasounds). I WISH I could put the video up that we got, because it was eerie and magical. I got to see him yawn, open his eyes, stretch, suck his thumb- amazing! We also have a pretty good idea of what he really looks like now, and that is basically ALL CHEEKS. He apparently has enough hair that it is FLOWING, big eyes, and really, REALLY likes putting things in his little bow mouth (feet, wrists, fingers, thumb, whatever's close). I think it's safe to say that David and I were both a little overwhelmed. I've been pregnant for so long that sometimes it's easy to forget how CLOSE we are to the due date.

Keep your fingers crossed for me! I have another appointment tomorrow and hopefully I'll get a little more clarification about what's in store for me as far as the actual birth. Also I've been encouraged to bring music to play during labor and birth, and so far have put aside Joanna Newsom's "Y's," TJO's "Peregrine," and the Dirty Three's "Ocean Songs." Any other suggestions? The baby is used to and clearly prefers my stuff over lullabies, and clearly I am unconcerned with unnerving the doctor, but I want it to at least be calming, haha.

I went for my last ultrasound today

Friday, June 6, 2008

Apparently I'm growing a tiny, exact clone of David!!!

My Mom: I can't stop laughing!
My Mom: its almost surreal!

Awesomely Bad Late 80's/Early 90's Rap Themes For Blockbuster Movie Sequels

Thursday, June 5, 2008

This morning over breakfast I somehow got on the topic of MC Hammer's "Addams Family Rap," a song I remember LOVING from my childhood. (Yes, at 7am these are the topics I often wish to discuss- feel free to celebrate and/or mourn the fact that I'm not having YOUR baby) In 1991, when the song came out, I was 9 and my brother was 11. He owned the cassette single and we played it over, over, over and over again, ad nauseum. I even have a clear mental image of my brother doing some sort of Uncle Fester dance that was sort of like the Thriller dance but way more awkward.

There is basically nothing about this that I don't love.

The Addams Family Rap was just one of many, MANY awesomely cheesy movie raps from the 80's/early 90's, all suspiciously made for blockbuster sequels to already popular movie franchises. Rap was crossing over into the mainstream and suburban white kids everywhere desperately wanted a (wholesome, watered down) piece.



Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice, brought to us in the second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, Turtles in Time- ALSO from 1991 (what a great year!). I was in third grade at this time, and that year my class just happened to have a talent show. I did a self choreographed dance to "Prisoner" by Mariah Carey with a friend wherein I wore white lace footless tights under a denim jumper (yes, really). The cool boys in class, decked out in sideways hats, lip synched their way through "Ninja Rap." They also did some sort of move while "rapping" that was similar to the Arsenio Hall "woof woof" movement. I have video proof of this event. Mike, Mike, Greg and Geoff- do yourselves a favor and never run for president.



Arguably the best, probably because it was done by Run DMC, is the "Ghostbusters Rap" from Ghostbusters II, which I proudly admit is one of my favorite movies of all time. This movie came out in 1989, which (I think- correct me if I'm wrong) makes this song the PIONEER of the cheesy rap themes for sequels genre. Not QUITE as awesome as breaking down the barrier between mainstream rock and rap, but an important contribution just the same, yes?

Honorable mention goes to Prince's "Batdance," disqualified both because it wasn't made for a sequel and also isn't a rap so much as... a horrifying, seven minute fever dream.



<3 siiigh. Have I mentioned yet today how much I love that little purple pervert? I honestly could watch his masturbatory guitar solos all day.

Baby Appreciation Day!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

This past Sunday was my baby shower! My mother, who has long since accepted she will probably never be able to plan a wedding for me ("Why get *married,* Mom?"), took the project on with gusto! She ordered favors on the internet, drove miles for centerpieces and party favors, planned games and even made little hand stamped place cards for every guest! It was great, and aside from walking into the room to find long tables all bunched together instead of the quaint, well spaced circular tables we were expecting and a *slight* wardrobe panic prior (the dress I bought for the shower a month ago didn't fit as well as it once had in the chest area, since apparently I'm whipping up enough milk to feed a small, starving country) everything went off without a hitch!

Bump & I (and my simian line)!

It was an interesting mix of people; at one table my relatives from my mother AND fathers side, including my adorable Grandma who was thankfully feeling well enough to attend. The next table was my friends, most of whom I hadn't seen in at least a year but NEVER GOT TO REALLY TALK TO because I was constantly on my feet greeting people and opening presents (I barely got to eat) and my mother's co-workers. At the third table was all of David's family from Worcester & beyond (his sister in law, Melissa, flew in from Tennessee!), including HIS adorable grandmother who was thankfully feeling well enough to attend. My mother, being the muffin that she is, got corsages for me, both future grandmas, AND both future great grandmas.


My mom, Ring Master, & my grandmother!
(c) Gill @ Shield Your Eyes

I had this moment of overwhelming reality while I was sitting there opening presents. I kept holding up these TINY pairs of socks and MINUSCULE tshirts and the LITTLEST, most adorable toys. Somewhere in the middle of it all it hit me that the baby is coming, any week now! He's really and truly COMING. 9 months of gestation is honestly a blessing, because it's taken me this long to really cope with the enormity of everything.


Davey & I opening presents
We've got a whole nursery filled with all sorts of beautiful, useful stuff- more than I ever could have wished for or imagined. I'm so ridiculously blessed to have so many caring people in my life! I'm sorry to everyone who drove a long way and then hardly got to talk to me; I wasn't expecting it to be so chaotic from start to finish!

Tomorrow I start the daunting but enthusiastic task of handwriting 52 individual thank you notes! Look for yours soon and thank you thank you THANK YOU again!! The Little Boy is going to be the cleanest, best dressed, most well stimulated infant that ever there was! Seeing all of your smiling, supportive faces gave me a lot of hope and a well needed jolt of "!!!"