Wednesday, April 2, 2008
20 years after the release of their break-through album "Hangin' Tough," the New Kids On the Block are apparently finally broke enough that they are reuniting, says boston.com.
Joey, Donnie, Danny, Jordan, & Jon
overalls only a kid could love
I'm not ashamed to admit that I was a HUGE New Kids fan back when the amount of years I'd lived on the earth were still expressed in single digits. I had posters covering every inch of my bright teal bedroom walls, a New Kids themed comforter/sheet set on my bed, and 3 different Joey McIntyre dolls. My cousin and I created a self choreographed lip-synching performance to their song "Happy Birthday" for my aunt's birthday once. I even owned this tshirt, which I caught all sorts of pre-teen hell for from my school friends at the time who were primarily boys, and a New Kids lunch box which was summarily broken on the playground (probably by the same boys). I was a veritable poster girl for why making pop music a commodity is so profitable- I coveted anything multi-colored with Joe McIntyre's picture on it so fervently and obsessively that my mother just gave in time and time again.
I guess this is why I'm never surprised when I read about grown men racing each other in high heels or mother's making up stories about dead war veteran husbands in order to win Hannah Montana tickets for their kids, although I don't think my own parents would have ever gone that far. My parents tried to get me New Kids tickets once for my birthday when the band came to Rhode Island, but they were shocked to find out that the price of concert ticket had risen dramatically since their "let's go see Three Dog Night at the Civic Center" days. Needless to say, no New Kids tickets for me. (Note to parents of Hannah Montana fans: I lived.)
20 years later, the once beloved "fab five from boston" have scattered to the wind. "The Cute One" and my former favorite, Joey, released a horrendously unpopular inspirational Christian album and tried out "Dancing With the Stars" after his eyebrows grew over his face. Jordan, "The Hot One," had a popular single that was chock full of creepy, uncomfortable innuendo and then apparently was on "the Surreal Life." His brother Jon, "The Shy One," after years and years of therapy for anxiety issues stemming from having been famous, started a developing business in Boston. Donnie, "The Bad One," was in "Ransom" and "The Sixth Sense," and Danny Wood, "The Ugly One" (whom my friends and I less than affectionately used to refer to as "Monkey Face"), is apparently a music producer. Where did all the money go, guys? Surely no respectful almost-40 year old would feel comfortable doing synchronized dances to songs with names like "Valentine Girl" and "Popsicle" unless he was broke as fuck, right?
Keep your eyes peeled, former Blockheads; it'll be interesting at the very least.
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5 comments:
i feel i need to apologize to you because i feel like this might have just kicked one of your poems of my "top ten best things that caitlin has ever written" list. especially the part about eyebrows growing all over his face.
of my = off my
Y'know, I know almost nothing about New Kids on the Block, but I'd kind of love to go on tour doing synchronized dance moves and singing now-unfashionable-but-once-hits at the age of forty.
@ Sarah: No apologies needed! I still haven't decided whether I'm a poet or a crass bitch. Probably I'm both, I just wish the two sides got along better.
@ Ben: You should do it! Please, please do it! I'd definitely jump in for "Popsicle," since that one was my favorite. :D
Dude, I may have gotten to see New Kids on the Block in concert (and screamed so hard that I fell asleep half way through, btw), but I am SO jealous of the Joey t-shirt you had! I would've sold my soul to the devil as a child to wear that angelic face on my body.
Do you think a New Kids concert would be a good choice for the baby's first, live musical experience? Would he rock out in his stroller or be horribly traumatized by Joey's eyebrows?
(p.s. I miss you.)
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